So I just broke up with this guy I've been dating for 3 months. He turned out to be a complete jerk. I can't believe I even wasted 3 months of my time on someone like him.
Anyways, he told me from the beginning that he has commitment issues and that he didn't know if he wanted a serious girlfriend right now. I told him that I didn't want to get serious with him either since he is leaving soon for the Marines, but then in his words he said, "I don't know. It might." That made me think that he wanted to get into a real relationship and would be ready for one if things worked out between us. He told me that he has been cheated on emotionally in the past by his ex's, which is why he can't trust me or any other girl. I've tried to be understanding about that, and despite him not trusting me, I trusted him almost completely.
On Christmas day he told me officially that he loved me (he has kind of mentioned it before in the past randomly, but I never took him seriously), and that he cared about me a great deal. After that, he would tell me he loved me whenever we were together, and I blindly believed him. When he told me he loved me, I thought that we would start being exclusive with each other, even if we didn't officially have "the talk". I didn't exactly consider him my bf or tell anyone he was, but he would sometimes jokingly call me his gf, which made me believe that that is what he considered me as and that we really were together. He would talk to me about our future and joke about getting married. Sometimes he wouldn't even be joking; he would just make a comment that implied him thinking that he wants to marry me. All those things he said made me believe that he was serious about me and that he really did love and care about me a lot like he claimed.
Then last Friday he told me something that made me finally come to my senses. He told me he took my friend out on a couple of dates. I was so mad at him when he told me that, because first of all, my friend?! Second of all, I already talked to him about her and told him our history back in high school. My friend and I met him the same night, and he got both our numbers. So they have been talking and stuff while I dated him, and I could tell that she really liked him. I talked to him about it and told him that I didn't want history repeating itself with me and her, because we liked the same guy back in high school too. I thought after telling him that, he would think about my feelings and maybe not contact her as much. But nope, instead, he took her out on a date a couple of weeks ago (after he told me he loved me) and they even kissed. When I talked to him about it, he didn't think there was anything wrong with him taking my friend out because I told him that "we aren't that good of friends anymore." He didn't feel sorry for what he did or for making me feel bad, instead he got mad at me cuz I got mad at him. I told him that it might be best if we just stopped seeing each other, and he got really mad at me, saying that he thought we were past the stage where we would break up for something "so little" when we care about each other so much and how he doesn't date just to date, but with the intention of marriage. I ended up not breaking up with him that night, but a week later. When I broke things off with him officially, he acted like he didn't care and that all we ever were was just friends and nothing more.
I just don't understand how he can think that it's ok to tell me he loves me and then go and take my friend out on dates and kiss her. He made it abundantly clear that we were never official and that he had the freedom to date whomever he wants without my consent. However, he still says that he meant it when he told me he loved me and he still does, but he really has done nothing to prove it. Is he the jerk or is it just me who thought too much and overreacted? When someone tells you they love you, what expectations do you have from them? Do you expect them to prove it to you?
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